Noen dager klarer jeg det. Klarer å se litt forbi skyene som først skimtes utenfor min egen horisont hvor bare mine egne tanker og følelser råder. Det er fantastisk å sitte sammen med et menneske som har levd en tid som nærmer seg 90 år. Da jeg kikker over frokostbordet, som bugner av mat, ser jeg henne med litt andre øyne i dag. Hva tenker hun? Vi kommenterer hvilken fantastisk dag vi hadde i går, 17. mai. Så masse god mat og kos. Sammen, tross alt, midt i pandemien som vi klager over.
Jeg spør henne, hun som har levd så lenge, hvordan matbordet sikkert har forandret seg på disse årene. Fra hun var barn og frem til nå. “Å ja” sier hun, “men, man glemmer så fort”. Kanskje for fort tenker jeg. Vi vet ikke hvor heldige vi er. Hun nevner krigen. Det er nok disse minnene som er sterkest. “Da var det vanskelig”, fortsetter hun. Tyskerne som hadde stengt veiene, og moren som eide jord hvor de hadde poteter og kålrot. Jeg prøver å se det for meg. Fire søsken hadde de vært. Krigen har nok satt sine spor, men det merkes ikke ved første øyekast. Tiden går og vi forandres med den.
Jeg er glad jeg kan ha sånne dager. Dager hvor jeg klarer å reflektere litt over hva jeg har og at det ikke er noen selvfølgelighet. Hvordan er hennes dager? Hva tenker hun på? At går fort, vil jeg tro. Vi har det travelt vi rundt. Da jeg på 17. mai satte frem kvister med løv i en vase sammen med to norske flagg, så jeg tårer i øynene til den gamle. Det skal så lite til. Jeg må huske dette. Klare å se de små tingene i en for oss kjedelig hverdag, slik som hun gjør. Kjenne på takknemlighet.
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